Week 4
Coming Out of the Closet

You must go into the dark in order to bring forth your light.
—Debbie Ford, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers

Closets—the real ones and the metaphoric ones—are those dark repositories for storing what we don’t want to see (or others to see).

This week we used our second skin (our clothing) as a tool to help us come out of our closets, as it were: to shed light on, and shed what gets in the way of revealing our true selves.

What were some of your discoveries this week? How easy or hard is it to dress in a way that matches how you feel? In what ways do you feel that you are coming out of hiding?


  • Some of the discoveries I’ve made this week are . . .
  • Giving myself permission to dress in a way that matches how I want to feel is easy because . . . (Notice the part that doesn’t feel easy.)
  • Some of the ways that I feel I’m coming out of hiding are . . .
Showing 12 comments
  • MaryEllen

    Hard to work with closet while out of state, but done now. Good, metaphorical chapter.

  • Thistle

    February 16, 2017 Day 24….
    So I have been off this for 20 days. First I got sick. Then my partner got sick, was on crutches and then had gout in his foot. Everything about my schedule got thrown right out the door….but I’m back and trying to commit to being back.
    Day 24 throw off. Guess I have to wait until tonight to find out.
    I am troubled by not having input by others right now. I need to explore this feeling today…and see if I can continue this.

  • Thistle

    Day 23, January 27, 2017
    Out Fit. Explore “A piece of clothing I’m wearing today that I don’t love, that doesn’t fit or that doesn’t feel good is…” hmmm…actually today I’m doing okay – I never like the feeling of my bra, and I have tried many – so I don’t think that will change. I am wearing a T-shirt which is comfy – doesn’t look great on me, but it’s comfy. But I’m home all the time….so seems a bit ridiculous to go above and beyond, especially when its sooooo cold out.
    “realizing this makes me feel….” I think a lot of my current unhappiness when it comes to clothes is because I just want to lose weight. Slowly working on this.

  • Thistle

    I just read all the other posts here. It’s such a shame to hide who we really are for fear of judgement. Why shouldn’t we all be comfortable AND happy? So many things I would like to change in this world, but one would be for everyone to be more accepting of others – let them be themselves without fear of judgement. I suffer from this all the time. I am a bit over weight. Not a lot, but not where I want to be. Clothes shopping is stressful for me. Nothing fits. I use to sew – but now I have to adjust patterns to make things fit well…and that is a very difficult process for me. Anyway – one thing that I have only just figured out is to no longer buy a shirt or a pair of pants, but to buy an outfit – that goes together, because I have always just bought something, brought it home, only to look in the closet and realize – I have nothing to go with it! Then, it doesn’t get wore, which then makes me sad.

  • Thistle

    Day 22, January 26, 2017 – Week 4! Wha hoo!
    Okay – Day 22…”Coming out of the Closet”
    “Change it up” – If I could take just a few pieces of clothing with me when I die, I’d choose… well – that was sad. I looked in my closet and I have to say – I wasn’t all that thrilled with any of my clothes. I have a pair of boots – cowboy boots, which I love. They are beautiful and the memories associated with those make me smile. In that particular case – it isn’t even about comfort, although for cowboy boots, they aren’t that bad. I recently bought a sweater, short sleeve mock T and a pair of jeans that look and feel good. I guess that would be my next outfit. I have a couple of things I like, but I don’t wear them on a daily basis for one reason or another. Guess it’s time to weed out the closet again.
    “Wearing something that feels good changes my mood to”…Hope! I put on the cowboy boots, thought about how much I wanted to spend winters in the Hill Country of Texas, looked online to find a small RV park that both my partner and I think will be okay – and then I had some money put aside, so I transferred some into an account which will now become my “snowbird account.” I am determined to make this happen!

  • Alexita

    Today is December 23, 2016. What a wonderful lesson: wearing what makes us happy, not what “hides” my belly, not what is “appropriate”, not what “is on sale”, but something that has been chosen with intention and that makes me feel great and happy. What a concept. I am making the decision from now on to buy and wear only “happy” clothes. I will clear my closet and not hide anymore. Thank you!

    • Thistle

      I’m not sure if you are still doing this, but I loved reading your note on this subject. I hope you are still doing this. Be well and be happy! I hope you are wearing something that makes you feel happy right now.

  • Trina

    Week 4 has been taking a long time because I did not want to move on yet I could not remember to consciously “throw off” at the end of the day. I just put a reminder on my phone calendar to pop up 60 and 30 minutes before I usually go to bed. Then I decided to keep moving forward. Today I received Stephanie’s newsletter email about making the bed, and I love the quilt on the image at the top of this page. I have been wanting a new quilt but I keep putting off trying to find someone to make one in the color palate that I want. Also, my bed is terribly uncomfortable. I really need to get a new mattress. That could probably help with some back and hip pain and I would feel like doing more clearing.
    As for clothes, I have been trying to lose weight (and mostly failing) but I decided a while back to use a clothing service that sends dresses that you wear and then return when you are done with them. When I calculated buying clothes in different sizes, etc, that I would have to get rid of versus using the service where I can change the size as needed, paying for the monthly service seemed like a better investment to keep the clothing clutter out of my house. I still have plenty, but this has kept me from adding to it. I have also gotten things from the service that I never would have dared to try on in a store. If I don’t like something or it doesn’t fit I just send it back without wearing and get something else. Wearing some of these items gets me a lot of compliments and that is definitely a way that I am coming out of hiding. People who haven’t struggled with weight often don’t understand how being the largest person in the room is actually a way of hiding. One of the things that keeps me sabotaging myself is that if I lose weight people will notice me. This clearing process will help me clear those notions and help me come out of hiding.

  • Carolynn

    Gypsydancer talks about only wearing the clothes that make her feel happy. Essentially, those are the clothes I go to most of the time. I wear other clothes for certain occasions, but mostly, I wear what feels right in the moment. I retired a couple years ago and I wear my work clothes around the house, not going anywhere, just don’t want them to hang in the closet unworn. Too bad our careers dictate our “suitable fashion”, at least teaching in my school did. And jewelry, I have so much from my deceased mom and mother in law, so I change my jewelry often, matching my attire or mood. It feels like being a little girl and sorting through Mom’s jewelry box. It feels good to do it now in my own box with much of her jewelry mixed in. I don’t feel it’s cluttered because it offers magic to me.

  • GypsyDancer

    Some of the discoveries I have made this week is certain pieces of clothing make me sad and there is a story to it. It was easy to take those pieces of clothing to the nearby Goodwill so that others may use them. Giving myself permission to dress in a way that matches how I want to feel is easy because it is the mornings that I enjoy my yoga and wear my comfortable attire all cotton and stretchable so I can just breathe. Some of the ways that I feel I’m coming out of hiding are only wearing the clothes that make me feel happy. Those pieces are the ones that are comfortable, no fuss, and easy to wear.

    • Carolynn

      I remarked on your post in my post above. Thought you’d like to know.

      • GypsyDancer

        That makes so much sense to wear what makes you feel good in that moment.

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